Come... follow miserable toady down to the dark, dank cellers where he brews fine mead for his masters. All recipes with the toad rating symbol() have been toad tested and toad approved. Rating is based on a scale of one to five. Any recipe without a symbol needs to be tried (and considerably sampled).
Gather a gallon of newish dandelion blooms on a dry day. Steep them in a loosely covered two gallon crock with one gallon of boiling water for three days. Strain the mixture through a jelly cloth, and press out all liquid. Put the liquid in a kettle, and add one small ginger root, the thinly peeled rinds and juice of three oranges and one lemon, and three pounds of sugar. Boil rapidly for twenty minutes. Return the liquid to the crock and allow to cool to lukewarm. Spread 1/2 cake of yeast (yes, the store bought Fleishmans really works) on a slice of toasted rye bread and float on top. Cover the crock with a cloth and allow to sit in a warm room for six days. Strain the wine into a gallon jug (or carboy if making multiple batches) and plug hole with loosely wadded cotton. Keep in dark place for three weeks, then carefully decant into bottles and cork tightly. The books say to age this brew until Christmas, but at last year's Summer assembly I couldn't afford a bottle of mead, so I drank it early- no one complained (except a certain some one who shall remain nameless that criticised the smell, but not the taste- funny, he asked for the recipie tho).
Boil together 4 cups sugar and 4 cups water. Take from the stove and stir in 3/4 cup of coffee crystals, and cool. Add 1 quart of vodka (best to use a medium or good grade- not the plastic bottle el-cheapo kind) and 1 vanilla bean, thinly sliced. Pour liqueur into a colored bottle and let stand for 2 weeks. Shake every day, and strain before serving.
Combine apples, cinnamon, and water. Cover and cook 10 minutes. Add sugar, and stir until dissolved. Remove from heat, and add brandy and wine. Store in a cool, dark place 3 weeks. Shake every 3 days. Strain and bottle. Store in cool, dark place another 2 weeks before serving.
Combine all ingredients, and shake to blend. Store in a cool dark place 2 weeks, shaking every 2 days. Strain and bottle, store another 2 weeks in a cool, dark place before serving.
Drain juice off berries, add lemon and sugar and cook over low heat until it boils. Remove from heat, and skim off any foam on top. Remove the lemon slices, and add berries and vodka. Store in fridge 1 month before serving, shaking once every week. Strain before serving.
Combine sugar and water, and heat until the sugar is completely dissolved. Remove from heat and stir in vodka and flavoring. Store one month before serving.